My cousin just got a job in an MNC, and earning 3 times as much as I earn. So I feel inferior. My parents complain about me not very successful and my bad habits of drinking and smoking.
Today, I got a call from some company, and I cleared the telephonic interview(which included the Technical and HR rounds) but I screwed it as I demanded a higher compensation.
I am into a very deep depression and I do not know where to go.
I have been a merit student, Engineer, an extrovert and Intelligent person; just like you guys.
- I have lost my dream girl
- My relatives are earning 3 times as me
- I am not prepared for MBA
- My parents always want to throw me out of home because of my smoking and drinking habits
- I screwed my interview and it would need a hell lot of efforts and time to be technically and aptitude-cally strong for other interviews.
My dear son – ( I am like your father – of same age) you know everything, you are aware where it went wrong and how it went wrong and you are so intelligent to know who is the reason and you have so much will power you never tried to do some thing drastic.
No father in India would want his son to get out of the house – so long your mother is alive. Even if he did, he will kill himself every hour till you return home. He just would like you to know that you are ruining your great life intentionally and for a woman. The great minds do have very silly and cheap interests and that can tilt the entire balance of their life. Intelligence is to understand our weakness and cover them with good cloth like we do to our sofa-sets.
I give below 3 pdf file links – each one is about 20 pages- some extracts are are given from there.
1. Know your weaknesses, but play to your strengths.
Most people focus on their weaknesses and try to improve them. But the most successful executives realize that this is a waste of time. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, whether they are a CEO or a management trainee. While it’s important to be aware of your weaknesses, devoting time and energy to strengthening them will give you only limited gains.
You’ll become much more effective by building on the things you already do well. If numbers make sense to you, concentrate on becoming a great numbers person. Yes, you should be able to write a passable business letter. But if that’s not your strength, don’t invest a great deal of time improving your writing skills or pursuing positions that require a lot of writing. If spreadsheets intimidate you but you have a terrific visual sense, get enough financial literacy training so you can read a balance sheet and understand financial discussions, but invest the majority of your time in developing your design and visual skills.
By investing in your natural abilities, you will achieve far more, faster and easier.
A young woman I know shifted careers from acting to management. After initial progress, her career hit a wall. She spent months improving her computer skills and trying to master financial management, with little improvement. One day, while managing a major project, she was asked to make a presentation to an audience of business people. Up to that point, it had been a torturous meeting. But when she took the podium, the room lit up. She entertained leaders came up to her afterward and said, “You’re great on your feet. You should do more of this.” Until then, it had never occurred to her that something that came so naturally to her could be valuable. With her company’s help, she began to present more and worked at getting better at it. She was so successful that within a year she was made executive director of a key industry-wide initiative.
One added advantage of playing to your strengths is that they are often where your passions lie. Focusing on your passions will help you push through potential barriers and stay energized when things are difficult. And it makes work a lot more fun.
Life is a negotiation.
If you’re breathing, you’re negotiating. Every day you’re trading “this for that”—whether requesting a better compensation package from your employer, negotiating a deal with a client or vendor, or deciding where to dine that evening with your spouse. Make every negotiation a little easier by limiting your wish list to the two or three things that matter
Unless you’re negotiating a multi-year contract or a peace treaty, don’t bring a long laundry list to the table. You’re bound to lose something important if you do. I’m not suggesting that you rush negotiations—quite the contrary.
Negotiation takes time. Invest it wisely in the important work—knowing exactly what you want, listening to what the other party needs, and envisioning a way to compromise. Don’t get caught up in a swap meet of insignificant issues.
Consider the way new technologies come to market. The major software and electronics companies cut down on time and costs by putting products on the market before they’ve been completely debugged. Not only does this save the consumer money in the long run; consumer feedback teaches these companies more in a month than they’d discover through years of in-house testing. Sure, some users might grumble at flaws in the early models or releases. But by now, most consumers are aware of the practice and know to wait for the updated version. You should know when your work is “good enough.” Before sitting on or delaying a project or document, ask yourself:
Feeling sorry for yourself is like an anchor, preventing you from living fully, from having joy, happiness, and fun, from supporting others, from requesting help, love, commitment.
Feeling sorry for yourself is a great way to sell yourself short and be busy finding all the things you are missing in life.
Feeling sorry for yourself diminishes the value you expect, create, and demand from others.
You cannot be wealthy if you are feeling sorry for yourself. And believe me, you will find enough reasons to convince yourself of what a great loser you are!
The vaccine to feeling sorry? Being grateful! Focusing on what is going well in your life creates a circle of pride and healthy selfishness and sets you up in a much powerful platform to give your best and expect the best.
Then you feel valuable, and it shows. You work on your strengths, on your passions, on your best you. You focus on making the best of your life and that includes taking responsibility for your resources.
Comparing to Others
When you focus on others, you forget how to evaluate your life and get used to putting your measure of success externally instead of internally. That creates confusion and a feeling of helplessness, since you cannot control your external environment. It is as if a tree would focus on controlling the forest, and the other trees around, the weather, the soil, the water. If the same tree could have some control, its best option would be to control its own strength and growth.
The vaccine to looking externally is to look internally. When you look at your own life and how you can create the life you want, you begin to be in control, to feel empowered, to take actions, to think creatively, to love and nurture yourself.
Even if you are not happy with what you’ve accomplished so far, you can begin to plan, to make smart choices or to learn from your mistakes. What happens outside is only used to learn, or to show compassion, not to compare yourself with others. Only use the comparison to feel fortunate and blessed or to feel inspired.
Wealthy people feel good about what they’ve done. They compare themselves to their own lives. Wealthy people use what they feel good about to leverage and propel themselves forward, and what they don’t feel good about to make corrections, to learn, and even to apologize.
As Abhishek said – hold yourself and promise me that you will not do any thing which makes this Quora a failure in all respects.
TIME SAVING TIPS
BE AWARE OF TIME THIEVES AROUND YOU:
1. Lack of motivation
2. Mistakes—your own
3. Failure to listen
4. Mistakes of others
6. Poor planning
7. Lack of self-discipline
8. Unclear goals
9. Conflicting priorities
11. Lack of delegation
12. Poor communication
13. Unwillingness to say no
14. Lack of procedure
15. Cluttered work-space
16. Equipment failure
19. Waiting for answers
21. Shifting priorities
22. Unreal time estimates
23. Over-involvement with details
24. Junk mail
25. Red tape
26. Low company morale
27. Peer demands
28. Civic activities
30. Negative attitudes
To Read above in full go to these links and down load these PDF files
Page on Changethis
Change This – 10 Unwealthy Habits
Change This – A Positive Attitude